What SATC Taught Me About My Breakup

After its release, I waited a whole week before seeing the SATC movie, a choice which made me one of the last women on the planet to have seen the film.

There are many reviews of the film that basically tell you everything you need to know, so I will just assume you are familiar with the show’s history, the film’s basic plot, and don’t need to be warned of SPOILERS.

As this post’s title suggests, I’m currently grieving a relationship (details to be revealed later), so I think the best parts of the movie were breakup scenes. They were cathartic for me, as big crying scenes are a part of my life these days. I loved the way Carrie’s friends took wonderful care of her. Mr. Big’s abandoning Carrie at the altar made PERFECT sense and was right in line with the type of person he was.

But I was infuriated with two aspects of Carrie’s behavior, and both of them taught me important lessons. When Big proposes marriage, Carrie mealy-mouths her way to an acceptance. She was so afraid of losing the relationship that what should have been a resounding, “YES! I’ll marry you!” turned into, “Well, okay, maybe, if you say so…” From this I learned to not be so afraid of losing a relationship not to say exactly what I want.

And the second of course, is Carrie’s acceptance of Big’s lousy apology and Manolo-shoe proposal. Who would marry someone who continually treated her with disrespect for so long and selfishly subjected her to such humiliation?

Bloggers & movie reviewers alike condemn the film as “unrealistic” and abhor the filmmakers’ choice of ending. But strip away the designers and fantasy income levels, and what you have here are four very real women and four very real stories.

In Samantha’s case, there are absolutely women like this and one is inclined to feel sorry for her boyfriend, Smith. Sometimes, breakups really do happen for no good reason. Smith’s only crime here is choosing to spend five years with a woman so completely unavailable. Miranda’s storyline is similarly realistic.

And then there’s dear Charlotte. Reviewers seem bored by her relentless happiness, but let’s not forget her repeated and devastating heartbreaks: several terrible breakups, a miscarriage & the ongoing grief of extended infertility; a devastating divorce. That she ends up with “everything she always wanted” is even more authentic in light of her earlier life; those of us who are unfailingly optimistic can eventually get everything we dream of. If there’s anyone to emulate in this film, it would be her.

Carrie’s on/off relationship and consistently stupid relationship choices clearly demonstrate what can happen when a woman has a too-low opinion of herself. The filmmakers’ only crime is in presenting Carrie’s ending as a romantic ideal, when in real life Carrie would be harshly questioned by everyone in her life and would most likely lose credibility with her public audience.

For all of us that are grieving, mourning relationships, let Carrie be an example to us. The bravery of enduring a painful breakup and reaching for something better is infinitely better than a fate like hers.

Getting Past Your Past: SATC Cultural Impact Discussion
Love is Dope: SATC Review